In which Bob falls off yet again

Although the weather looked gloomy at noon we decided that professional cyclists like ourselves should ride regardless of the conditions and with a great show of courage we all set off.

I decided to chance my $200 bike and prove to Bob that price DOES NOT matter when it comes to bikes. By the time we were underway it became obvious that my meticulous planning was going to pay off yet again as we were treated to glorious sunshine for most of the ride.

Mal and Duncan thought they would show off by starting at Mt Evelyn and of course imediately incurred penalty points by so doing. Bob and I showed admirable restraint and common sense in joining the peloton at Wandin and we all set off in pursuit of John who was somewhere ahead of us, still enjoing a quiet nap in the warmth of his car.

As we approached Woori Yallock we were straining our ears listening for the unmistakable sounds of the ghost whistle that would indicate John’s approach. Well, we met John, but unfortunately without his landmark tooter. Apparently he had blown it once too often and an angry 80 year old walker had taken offafter him. In spite of John’s fastest riding he was overtaken by the old guy who proceded to knock the hooter from his bike with his 4 legged walking stick and throw it into the bushes. Oh well looks like its back to the drawing board for John……

By the time we got near Yarra Junction, Mal’s hormones and Bob’s steroids were starting to kick in so off they went on a time trial around the road circuit. Bob took off in a riding frenzy, Mal started to respond but his cheap pedals let him down, both feet came out of the cleats and proceeded to scrape along the bitumen in a shower of sparks and disintegrating plastic. This of course was an immediate source of entertainment for Bob, however Bob’s turn came soon afterwards when his lack of basic bike skills became obvious yet again. When riding at top speed (about 20 kph) Bob lost control of the “Titanic” and apparently hit an iceberg. Whatever the cause, Bob was sent sprawling into the mud and had to complete the ride covered in filth. Such antics might score points in the Eastern Vets but they will get you nowhere in a real club like ours.

After the excitement of Mal and Bob’s “performances” the rest of the ride to Warburton was completed without further incident. The next revelation came outside the cafe when Mal removed his helmet to unveil his new “Number 1” haircut. He of course immediately earned further penalty points for being the only rider with more hair hanging from his front tyre than growing on his head.

Much merriment over lunch meant that we were a little late in departing so off we set at a blistering pace back down towards Melbourne. As we rode on under blue skies and a glowing sun sitting low on the horizon I think we all felt that surely this must be one of the very best ways to spend an afternoon.

Another great ride!