In Which the Warbies Emulate Spinal Tap

Anyone who has seen the famous quasi documentary about the Rock Group “Spinal Tap” would no doubt remember the scene in which one of the group explains why their amplifiers are superior to those used by any other band. “This amplifier goes to 11”, the long haired rocker carefully demonstrates, “but other amplifiers only go up to 10”. Sounds reasonable to me.

Although we had reached 10 riders for some of our weekday ride, I could not recall any time when we had reached the ever elusive ELEVEN. As I sat outside the cafe in Warburton enjoying my avocado and chicken sandwich (obviously not same the cafe we usually frequent) I started counting heads. Sure enough, after repeating the count several times, it was confirmed. We had reached ELEVEN RIDERS. I wondered how many other cycling groups could boast as many riders on their mid week ride.

Keeping in mind we had Bob out of action with his broken wrist and Brendan missing, it was indeed an encouraging sight. Although I personally had experienced a very trying week it was good to be back on the trail with my cycling friends. This Autumn has also been extremely mild, with hardly any rain at all. Although this has given rise to a very dusty track, it has also meant that we have had some perfect weather for cycling.

As we settled down to enjoy our gourmet sandwiches we noticed a puff of smoke on the near horizon. Gary looked up “Looks like our mates at Warby East are at it again”, he yelled before jumping on his bike and racing off in the direction of the fire. We offered to loan him a couple of extra water bottles for his battle with the bushfire but by that time he was out of earshot. When he reappeared a little while later he seemed a little disappointed. Apparently it was not a real fire at all, just someone burning off a few stolen cars or something.

After lunch it was time to return to the trail for the return ride. As we turned in Settlement Rd we noticed a somewhat familiar vehicle parked on the side of the road. It turned out to be none other than Crasher Lewis and his father. At this point two miracles were demonstrated. Firstly, most were amazed that anyone as old as Bob could still have a father, and secondly, how could it be that Bob’s father actually looked younger than Bob?

As the peloton crowded around Crasher he proudly waved his plaster encrusted wrist for all to admire. Anyone would think he had earned it in the Tour de France, rather than in the middle of a dummy spit on the Inner Circle Rail Trail a couple of weeks ago. He also appeared excited that he had somehow managed to secure a brand new Specialised Bike. It is amazing that gross cycling incompetence is apparently being rewarded nowadays.

The remainder of the ride apparently passed without further incident, although I cannot comment for certain, because I had only started at Woori Yallock and therefore allowed the rest of the peloton to continue on to Mt Evelyn without me. Having achieved the cycling equivalent of a Spinal Tap amplifier, the next level is to achieve the even dozen. Then I guess the “baker’s dozen” would be the obvious next target.