In Which we learn of Hooter Heroics

This account supplied by Peter Warren in my absence

I set out to Mt Evelyn excited at the thought of leading the famous “Ghost riders” on the weekly ride for the first time. I arrived to find Spanner & Brendon waiting. Spanner related how Hooters had come to grief at Walhalla during the week by dissappearing over the side of a rather large cliff face. Luckily he was caught by a tree not 5 metres from the top. Fortunately the tree was not badly damaged.

As Spanner was going to meet us at woori, Brendon & I set off down the trail. At Wandin we met Gary & told him of Hooters misfortune. He actually considered not doing a cartoon about it – for about five seconds, then spent the rest of the ride working out several ways to embarrass John.

Nearing Woori we met up with a new rider – John Shaw who works for Puffing Billy – Hence he is now known as Billy.

I had decided that we should stay on the trail through Yarra Junction. Gary agreed as he had already seen the police in the vicinity of Settlement Road Checking on Motorists AND Cyclists. Apparently bikes were given roadworthy check with some cyclists booked.
At Millgrove the five of us enjoyed our refreshment while Spanner Billson kept us amused with the story of the dissappearing Hooters – one minute he was there and suddenly he was gone.

On the return journey Gary raced off at Yarra Junction, he couldn’t wait to start his cartoon. At
Woori Yallock the rest of the peleton said goodbye and left me to ride back to Mt Evelyn alone.

Now read on to hear what Warren Billson (Spanner) thought about the ride…..

The final ride for March 2006 was supposed to be through light showers according to the weather bureau. Someone forgot to tell God because he provided us with a beautiful sunny afternoon around 23 degrees. The old Romans legions would select every 10th person to be killed or disciplined as necessary, thus we have the term decimated. We could not say that the Warby Riders numbers were decimated today as we lost far more than one in 10 – more like 9 in 10.

Of course today is the day that 13 of number start their adventure in China. And Hooters is flat on his back but that’s another story explained later in this report. With the President handing the bike crank of power to Legs Warren, the size of the pelaton was a mystery akin to the Bermuda triangle, particularly the vanishing bit. I found myself at the appointed starting time of 1pm sitting in the car park at Mt Evelyn all on my own. In desperation I rang Hooters who was still in bed, to confirm today was indeed Thursday and that daylight saving had not been changed without my knowledge.

Whilst he was checking his calendar a flash of yellow and Brendan arrived after riding up from Wandin. With a roar of power and a flash of blue the Legs Mobile flew into the car park and a pelaton was finally formed. I told Hooters to go back to bed (more of that story later). Legs apologized for his tardiness and explained he needed to talk to his wife before he left, something about today being their wedding anniversary. We suggested he should perhaps do something special for her on such an occasion and he said he already planned not to go to footy training tonight. What a man! Garibaldi joined the pelaton at Wandin followed shortly by a new rider (another John).

Because of his keen interest in Puffing Billy the acting president duly christened him “Billy”. Billy was keen to join us on the ride as his final training run before setting off to Adelaide on Saturday by bike. Peter Warrens mammoth effort riding to Bright started to almost pale into insignificance. With Willy Wonka on the trail already our numbers had peaked. Acting President Warren made his first Executive decision.

Based on inside knowledge that the police where on the warpath for cyclists on Settlement Road we took the bike path through Yarra Junction. It was a pleasant variation and no sprint was attempted. The day was too good and the company too pleasant So with Spanner waiting at Warburton the total pelaton amounted to 5. At least we had no trouble getting a good seat at Trailblazers.

The return ride was equally as pleasant as numbers dwindled, first as Garibaldi turned off, and then as we stopped at the fly capital of the world – Woori Yallock. Legs couldn’t help himself as he turned to our visitor and asked ”Is that you Puffing Billy?” It’s his wedding anniversary so we let him get away with it.

Peter did confide that in 38 years Joan had never considered divorce as an option – murder many times but never divorce. Legs then announced that he would be strictly enforcing peletonic discipline all the way back to Mt Ev. and promptly set off on his own while the bikes were loaded and others departed from another great ride.

And what about next week? Well we would really welcome any new riders next week or the track will be very quiet. We will have members literally all over the world from China, to Malaysia, Denmark and Germany. And probably Hooters in Mooroolbark. And what about Hooters? Last weekend a few members took advantage of the great weather and went to ride in Walhalla.

Hooters being the physical specimen he is was not content with riding just the normal trail but insisted we take an extra detour through the Thompson River valley. After becoming geographically embarrassed and ending up on a goat track (again) he took an unfortunate tumble down a rather steep cliff. You may recall watching the Roadrunner show, when the Coyote would run off the edge of the cliff and just hang there for a few seconds. Well John proved that this is a lie. When you go over the edge you go straight down.

Fortunately John landed on his nose and that cushioned his fall, but not before causing some very uncomfortable bruising to his shoulders and spine. So he is quite seriously confined to lay flat pending recovery and we all do wish him a sincere get well soon. It’s just not the same picking on him when he has a real reason not to ride. Even Garibaldi stopped and showed concern for 30 seconds or so before planning his next cartoon.